Kewl. Logging on here feels like Science Fiction. Like a dusty, decrepit cobwebbed computer, adrift in space, blinking to life. Hello, familiar people.
Im alive. Living in a 5’x8′ room, with my aging dog. I rent from a pregnant couple, so I’ll have to leave before the baby comes. Most likely, I’ll buy high-milage decommissioned taxi minivan & live in it. Last year I lived in a rusty cargo van, literally deemed a ‘scofflaw’ by nyc traffic enforcement, moving art for rich clients for cash– in a business model based on Han Solo– until it was hit on the highway, I did a night in jail, other dramatic bumps occurred, & then I was sleeping on park benches, stairwells, construction sites & sidewalks. All that was pretty-much fallout from E leaving-me, over a year ago. She did it an unnecessarily-hard way, which shook me. Hard to get back on my feet. I didn’t fall into drugs or booze, but life got hairy. I was too traumatized to function & thousands of dollars of work went un-invoiced, unpaid. There were some high points, too. Miley Cyrus hired me for 19 hours in Miami, to help her hot-glue pills & beads on her six-foot bong. I salvaged an abandoned Vespa from the gutter this winter & bombed-around Queens, wearing a mask/ with no license plate. I fooled-around with quite a few shockingly-hot shockingly-young babes. But once I established I -could-, I eased off that. My social life has dwindled to– a handful of girls who I tried dating & it didn’t click– but we kept meeting for dinner occasionally. Most of my old friends are long-gone. My computer is broken, my phone barely works. I’m long-overdue to see the dentist. Taxes unpaid. I’ve tried to avoid indulging in self-destruction, but haven’t entirely succeeded. Politically, my view of the world has become harsh– like a housepet abandoned on the highway. I’m not fully rooting for Trump, just to watch the world burn. But many of the people here– who turned their back when I needed help– are good-little Bernie & Hillary supporters. Trolling them with Make America Great Again talk is a spiteful pleasure.
I’m bragging a bit, and whining, but not exaggerating.
My latest project is being fanatical about what I eat, for the first time in my life. On the ‘Keto’ diet. I weigh everything I eat to the gram, on a little drug dealer scale. Super-low carbs, lots of fat, a precise amount of protein to avoid losing muscle. Dropped 10 pounds in 2 weeks (much of it water, surely) & steady since-then.
Uncertainty about what comes next scares me, but I expect it to be better than the 2015 was. I suppose that’s why I’m here. Wanna drop in somewhere where people have known me a while. Get my bearings. So, hi.