Humor

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…I’m not absolutely convinced that the majority of Americans are too stupid to walk and breathe at the same time.

The public still blames Bush.

Nearly five years after George W. Bush left office, half the public still blames the former president for the nation’s economic woes, according to a new Washington Post-ABC News poll released this week. The survey comes as Republicans have continued to keep the 43rd president at arm’s length.

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As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

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LOL

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Man repays insurance money with 4 tons of coins

An Illinois businessman outraged by a court order that he return more than $500,000 in insurance money related to a 2001 wreck that killed his teenage son wanted to pay the money back in pennies in protest, only to recognize that was unfeasible.

So, Roger Herrin settled on quarters _ four tons of them.

Packed in 150 transparent sacks each weighing about 50 pounds, the $150,000 in coins were nearly one-third of the money an appellate court required Herrin to pay back to resolve years-long legal feuding among the crash’s survivors over how $800,000 in insurance proceeds were apportioned.

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(Subtext: This is what happens when you believe something with ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE WHATSOEVER to support your belief.)

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Last night, on my way home from work, I stopped at the grocery store. By the time I got back to my car I realized how late it was, that I was REALLY hungry, and that if I went back to my apartment and then tried to cook it would be even later. Afraid that my stomach might actually start dissolving itself, I went to the combination Taco Bell and KFC near the grocery store and ordered a 5 buck box.

I’ve been in this restaurant several times. The guy behind the counter was saying “I’m waiting on original recipe”. They seem to regularly run out of original recipe, because I think this has been the scene every time I’ve been there. At any rate, the seating area was rapidly filling with people waiting on their chicken. Some of them were there when I walked in, and were still there when I left with my food, so I can see why they’d be a little annoyed at “fast food”, under the circumstances.

Anyhoo, one of the waiting customers was a nicely dressed, distinguished looking older gentleman. He asked, in a loud voice, “what’s going on back there? There are more of us out here than there are of you back there! Do you want some of us to come help?”

He looked around for encouragement/back up. A few people smiled, but the crowd was mostly silent. I know I wasn’t in the mood to get involved. I was just there to get something to eat, not to make the life of a bunch of minimum wage people even worse. He got quiet for a few minutes.

Then, just as he started a second “where’s our food?” shout, an older guy, dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, walked in. As soon as distinguished guy stopped complaining, older guy said (in an equally loud voice), “you don’t wanna be messin’ with people who are preparing your food.”

Half the seating area, including me, burst out laughing.

Distinguished guy quit complaining.

All that wisdom for only 5 bucks, and I got to eat, too! :-)

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The NSA was walking past my house the other day, and my friends and I were shouting, “13…13…13…”.

The fence was too high to see over, but the NSA saw a little gap in the planks, so they looked through to see what was going on.

One of us poked them in the eye with a stick, then we all started shouting, “14…14…14…”.

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