DES MOINES, Iowa (The Borowitz Report)—An endorsement from former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is expected to widen Donald J. Trump’s already impressive lead among so-called “idiot voters,” an aide to the billionaire said on Tuesday.
While Trump was previously thought to have a lock on the idiot vote heading into the Iowa caucuses, a recent surge by Senator Ted Cruz, of Texas, has put the idiots back in play.
But even as the Trump campaign staffers celebrate the Palin endorsement, they recognize that they still have their work cut out for them to secure victory in Iowa. “Getting the idiots to support Trump is only half the battle,” the aide said. “Now we have to make sure that they make it to the caucuses without getting lost on the way.”
If Trump wins the GOP nomination, which is entirely possible given the idiocy of the GOP electorate (for whom I have ZERO respect), this could be the most interesting election ever.
A completely unqualified buffoon (Trump) vs. a Wall Street Masseuse (Clinton) or a Democratic Socialist with the guts to stand up for US (Sanders).
I haven’t posted about Sara Palin in a while because, well, it’s just hard for anyone but a loyal follower to take her seriously. But this is precious (via DU):
Apparently, The Quitter — who’s going to Sudan in July to see the Sphinx in the great country of Africa and generally bolster her learnin’ about furriners – also wanted to sneak in a photo-op stop with the Iron Lady.
PALIN: “I am going to Sudan in July and hope to stop in England on the way. I am just hoping Mrs Thatcher is well enough to see me as I so admire her.”
No such luck.
THATCHER (paraphrased): “Lady Thatcher will not be seeing Sarah Palin. That would be belittling for Margaret. Sarah Palin is nuts.”
This is a re-enactment of your typical day in the House or Senate when a Republican wants to advance one of their typical reverse-Robin-Hood ideas. This is why Democrats cannot stay home this November and let the Tea Party crowd put these children back in power. The American middle class cannot afford another minute of their slimy, self-serving policies.
After her speech, which included mocking the President for using a teleprompter, Sarah Palin used a crib sheet written on her hand to answer pre-screened questions from the audience. This is the keynote speaker at the teabagger convention? This is their choice to be our next POTUS?
Wow. Just wow.
More pictures and video of “Cheatin’ Sarah” at the link.
Update: Some comments from other threads about this.
It’s my opinion that the one over-riding driver of the average American voter is fear. Usually, irrational fear.
Fear of scary brown people, AKA “terrorists”.
Fear of gays getting married and breaking up marriages that can withstand anything else.
Fear that swarthy Hispanics will “take our jobs”. (Or perhaps the corollary, that someone other than white men will be in charge.)
Fear that we’ll LOSE our jobs, leading to sucking the corporate cockteat cock.
Fear that women will be able to consult privately with a doctor.
Fear that “the church” is losing influence.
Fear of other nations.
Fear of the government spending too much (on people) or too little (on blowing shit up and killing people).
Pants-shitting, abject fear that things will change (Forget about “for the better” or “for the worse”, change itself is “bad”) drives a status quo that gets worse, every year.
I admit to fear, myself. I’m afraid that things WON’T change. That we’re so blinded by “patriotism” that we think we can’t make this a better place to live for EVERYONE (not just our corporate masters.) I’m afraid we’ll watch, like the proverbial slowly boiling frog, until we’re either “dead” (emotionally, at least) or so fed up we realize we have nothing to lose and do something crazy.
Following American politics for the last two decades (and teaching about it for the last six years) I often feel like our political spectacles have taken on the air of an elaborate Dadaist performance piece, with each “Tea Party,” Fox News segment, and Republican Savior more egregiously blurring the lines between reality, farce, and surrealism. We watch each Sarah Palin or Bobby Jindal speech fully expecting Ashton Kutcher to appear and let us in on the joke, informing America that it has in fact been punk’d and laughing uproariously at our gullibility. Our collective capacity for credulity has been strained to breaking.
Now we are faced with the daunting task of wrapping our minds around the Palin memoir Going Rogue, appearing atop a bestseller list near you. Millions of copies will be sold of a book written by someone who can’t write, intended for an audience that doesn’t read, about the thoughts of a person who doesn’t think. God is dead.
If you are in a hurry, here is the succinct version of this review: Going Rogue is shit. It is groundbreaking in its banality and disregard for facts. If you are sentient, it will pain you to read it. Imagine watching your parents 69 one another while John Madden sits behind you and bellows out color commentary and you will have some idea of how excruciating and profoundly scarring it is to plow through each page of this wholly fictional monument to self-aggrandized mediocrity. Going Rogue is to the art of writing what the Holocaust is to the concept of a just God; the piece of disconfirming evidence so overwhelming that we are left questioning whether it can exist at all.