Palin Endorsement Widens Trump’s Lead Among Idiots BY ANDY BOROWITZ

DES MOINES, Iowa (The Borowitz Report)—An endorsement from former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is expected to widen Donald J. Trump’s already impressive lead among so-called “idiot voters,” an aide to the billionaire said on Tuesday.

While Trump was previously thought to have a lock on the idiot vote heading into the Iowa caucuses, a recent surge by Senator Ted Cruz, of Texas, has put the idiots back in play.

::snip::

But even as the Trump campaign staffers celebrate the Palin endorsement, they recognize that they still have their work cut out for them to secure victory in Iowa. “Getting the idiots to support Trump is only half the battle,” the aide said. “Now we have to make sure that they make it to the caucuses without getting lost on the way.”

If Trump wins the GOP nomination, which is entirely possible given the idiocy of the GOP electorate (for whom I have ZERO respect), this could be the most interesting election ever.

A completely unqualified buffoon (Trump) vs. a Wall Street Masseuse (Clinton) or a Democratic Socialist with the guts to stand up for US (Sanders).

Good times…

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Why voting in a way that allows a Republican to hold office is ALWAYS wrong

Republicans, of course, do not want to do important things and certainly not do them well. They know they can but why would they? Their entire ideology is based of handing everything over to the rich, so instead of doing the people’s work, they sabotage the government.

In other words: Break the government, complain the government is broken and then push to privatize all the stuff you broke in the first place so the rich can get even richer while delivering worse service.

This is the ONLY message we need to get out to voters. Make them internalize it. Make them understand it. If you vote in a way that allows a Republican to hold office, you’re voting against yourself, your country, your children’s future … Mom and apple pie. You’re a traitor to yourself if not your country.

Read the rest.

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Reason #5,873 why Sarah Palin is STILL an Asshole

…and the people who look to her as a potential leader (read “teabaggers”) are extremely STUPID assholes.

Sarah Palin supports exterminating wolves in Alaska, a state she used to govern. For half of her legal term.

Wolves change their environment for the better.

So, here’s one more reason to believe that Republicans and baggers live and vote for a worse place for all of us to live. Because they’re either stupid or brainwashed.

Video posted below the fold for the download rate challenged.

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Gov. Rick Perry of Texas Is Indicted on Charge of Abuse of Power

A grand jury indicted Gov. Rick Perry on two felony counts on Friday, charging that he abused his power last year when he tried to pressure the district attorney here, a Democrat, to step down by threatening to cut off state financing to her office.

Or should we call him “Mr. President“? I mean, the guy was a serious contender in the GOP’s clown primary.

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I REALLY Hope Hillary Decides Not To Run

She may have had a better handle on what to do on healthcare, but she’s a neocon.

Elizabeth Warren, who I’d support, has made it crystal-clear that she’s not running. This basically leaves me at choosing Biden or whatever truly horrendous right wing extremist fuck-stick the GOP allows the crazed baggers to nominate. Or maybe someone can beat Biden in a primary. I don’t claim to know, but historically VPs have succeeded POTUS’s.

Who should I vote for in the general election? The Green candidate, who (if they get enough votes) will get the truly horrendous right wing extremist fuck-stick the GOP allows the crazed baggers candidate elected? The Libertarian candidate (don’t insult my intelligence)? Maybe I should protest the complete failure of the American political system by writing in Goofy or Minnie Mouse, which would result in the election of the truly horrendous right wing extremist fuck-stick the GOP allows the crazed baggers to be nominated.

I agree we’re trapped by our system. I don’t agree letting the truly horrendous right wing extremist fuck-stick the GOP allows the crazed baggers candidate GETS INTO THE WHITE HOUSE and then runs the world into the ground to teach the world a lesson about electing truly horrendous right wing extremist fuck-stick the GOP allowing the crazed baggers is the best outcome.

We NEED government. Do you want to drive anywhere? You need government. Do you want your bank to treat you fairly? You need government.

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It’s The End Of The World As We Know It

A Brief History of the Apocalypse

Floaters been promotin’ “YOUR moral decay is going to get ME into heaven” for a helluva long time. According to Isaac Asimov’s Book of Facts the first predicted Apocalypse was in ca. 2800 BC. Even if you discount that for some reason, the next was in 634 BC.

Depending on how you define the Apocalypse, the end of HUMANS or the end of the WORLD, the real apocalypse comes in ca. 4,500,000,000 AD when the sun will swell into a red giant star, swallowing Mercury, Venus, Earth, and perhaps Mars. This will be the true end of the world!

Personally and IMNSHO, the way we burn shit to save time and effort, not to mention get around and generate electricity, is going to end the human race LONG before then. Maybe in this century. We’re probably already past the tipping point…

Consider this my public apology to my grand-kids/great grand-kids that I didn’t do more, and earlier, to battle the anthropogenic global climate change deniers. Starting with the Bible-thumpers, then moving on to Big Oil funded quasi-“scientist” and (you have to have seen this coming) Republicans and ESPECIALLY teabaggers…a “vast conspiracy” of scummy people determined to make the world a better worse place.

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States That Raised Their Minimum Wages Are Experiencing Faster Job Growth

Think a higher minimum wage is a job killer? Think again: The states that raised their minimum wages on January 1 have seen higher employment growth since then than the states that kept theirs at the same rate.

The minimum wage went up in 13 states — Arizona, Connecticut, Colorado, Florida, Missouri, Montana, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Washington — either thanks to automatic increases in line with inflation or new legislation, as Ben Wolcott reports in his analysis at the Center for Economic and Policy Research. The average change in employment for those states over the first five months of the year as compared with the last five of 2013 is .99 percent, while the average for all remaining states is .68 percent.

Digging deeper, all but one of those states are experiencing increases in employment, and nine of them have seen growth above the median rate.

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Monotheistic Religions Need To Go Away

Believing that “my God can beat up your God” is no way to run a planet.

BANGUI, Central African Republic (AP) – Heavily armed peacekeepers escorted some of the last remaining Muslims out of Central African Republic’s volatile capital on Sunday, trucking more than 1,300 people who for months had been trapped by violent Christian militants.

If monotheistic religions (Judaism, Christianity, Islam) won’t end themselves by attrition, we need to end them by ridicule and pointing out their own internal hypocrisy.

Did you know that James Dobson’s group American Family Association is a far-right “christian” hate group?

Look, I don’t care if you want to make sandwiches by placing two slices of bologna, a slice of cheese, and some lettuce between two slices of Jesus. I mean, seriously, I don’t claim to understand how a wafer and some wine changes into Jesus in your stomach, but if that’s what you choose to believe, it doesn’t affect me.

But going to war over religion is no longer cool. WWTD; what would Timbuk do? Well, for one, I wouldn’t fucking go to war over your (fucked up) belief that two men (or women) in love shouldn’t be allowed to marry. Or your (fucked up) belief that Jeebus can beat up the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Or your (fucked up) belief that it’s somehow our DUTY to allow an already wealthy 1% to gain even more wealth by fucking up the only planet we have to live on (read that as Koch brothers trying to increase taxes on solar panels). Or …

If you want to argue that the US is less than perfect, I can’t disagree, but I’d ask you to look at Saudi Arabia, where petroleum oozes out of the ground like pus oozes out of a pestilent wound, yet women can’t drive because of Sharia law. Where would you rather live?

Ah, well, I’m either preaching to the choir or arguing with the faithful (who, by definition, cannot be persuaded), so never mind.

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A Most Revealing Week for Republicans

The McCutcheon decision, Paul Ryan’s budget, and Obamacare deniers all say what the GOP can’t: We protect the well-off from redistribution of their wealth to those who don’t deserve it.

Republicans and Republican enablers disgust me.

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